500 Days of Izaya
by MeLaNch0LYdreams
Summary: A narrative about a debt collector that falls in love with an informant that doesn't believe in love...or not? This is it. This is the part where Izaya says 'we're just friends.' "Come back here! I don't have my wallet today!" Parody of 500 Days of Summer
1. Prologue

**500 days of Izaya**

Prologue

_Day 478 _

_The blond said nothing as the hand slipped into his own, a ring circled around the wedding finger, twinkling in the brief sunshine of Ikebukuro city. _

Vivacious ruby eyes sparkled when they saw him, and offered the smallest of smiles.

He returned the smile, no real mirth behind it.

_Day 1_

This is a story of boy meets boy.

This boy (the first one at least) is Heiwajima Shizuo.

The walls are packed to every square inch of the bulletin boards with bills, letters, old receipts, yellowed with age, held together poorly with paperclips and tape under the labels of the names of the employees that were in charge of those clients. For instance, take Shizuo. Abandoning the corporate feel of suits in exchange for bartender suits. Which we will get to later. Whom looks very bored at this moment as he shakes his leg up and down, unable to contain his energy.

Ahem. Anyways, this boy, Heiwajima Shizuo, of Ikebukuro, Tokyo grew up believing he was nevel capable of love until the day he met his...'Soulmate.'

This belief stemmed mainly from his mass exposure to daytime asian dramas meant for housewives, and a total misreading of the romance DVD's he watched with his little brother at the hospital. In other words, we can blame the media for why Shizuo felt that way. Oh, and because we was feared around Ikebukuro because of his inhuman strength. But we'll touch base with that later of course.

The other boy in question is Orihara Izaya, recently moved away from Shibuya, does not share this belief.

Since the sense of family was never present in Izaya's family, he had a very twisted idea of the way love was supposed to be. Since then, he had loved two things. The human race, and how easily he could manipulate them into murdering, abusing, bribing, threatening, lying, and loving. He claimed to love all the faults of humanity, but that is because he felt nothing at all.

Shizuo meets Izaya on January 8th at the debt collecting bureau of Ikebukuro. In an instant he will know what he is looking for.

This is a story of boy meets boy.

But before they do, you should know up front, this is not a love story.

It is not thirty before Izaya has walked into the building, not yet acknowledging Shizuo, and already the debt collector has taken action.

The blond narrows his amber eyes, a strange mix of emotions stirring in his chest as he watched Tom converse with a spiky haired smile, the flourescent lighting accenting the fur trim on his hood in contrast to the rest of his dark attire.

"You piss me off."

The two meet eyes for the first time. One with curious garment orbs, and the other with a narrowed topaz gaze.

"GET **_OUT!"_**

On a related note, the reason behind Shizuo's anger is never really justified. It can never really be explained.

I repeat, this is not a love story.

A/N: If it is not easy enough to tell already, this story was prompted by my love of the movie 500 Days of Summer, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. :)


	2. Chapter 1

**500 days of Izaya**

Prologue

_Day 240_

The mysterious black rider rode imperviously around Ikebukuro, navigating the streets until she came upon the pachinko parlor, Heiwajima Kasuka holding onto her middle tightly, pale in the face from the rambunctious ride. The two slipped into the side door leading to the single studio apartment, left unlocked. The black rider swung the door open, the duo wordlessly walking into the apartment.

"Celty! Kasuka! I'm so glad you both came! I didn't know who else to call!"

Celty removed her helmet, black smoke forming on the spot in what could only be recognized as a 'frantic pattern.'

"Did the right thing. Brother?"

"He's-"

A few dishes crashed against the wall. Then an uprooted sink, followed by the refrigerator. Kadota sat in the living room, sipping tea troublesomely. He seemed used to the behavior.

"Brother."

Shizuo, now in plan sight, visibly froze.

"Kasuka? What are you doing here?" the appearance of Shizuo's little brother seemed to have calming effect, and the rest of the small group visibly relaxed.

"Help."

"Help me? Do what?"

"Please clean up. First."

The blond slowly obliged as he fixed the refrigerator upright and plugged it in, following with the sink. Shinra (the frantic individual from earlier) watched in disbelief as the 'gentle giant' hesitantly put the appliances back in order.

"Sit."

This seemed to be the cue for everyone to occupy the rest of the seats in the living room, and they all gave Kasuka their undivided attention (something he was only all too used to.)

"The key is not to panic." Shinra offered, nodding encouragingly as if he thought his advice would work by staying positive.

"I feel sick." the blond hung his head, gripping his undied hair in his fist, his once blond head of hair now streaked with brown.

"Drink." Kasuka passed the brown paper bag to Shizuo, the tip of a bottle could be made out as he pressed it to his older's brothers lips.

"Is that...?" Kadota didn't bother to broach the question, looking uncertainly at the bag.

"Vodka." the actor nodded, noticing the slight wince as Shizuo downed the drink, grimacing at the taste.

"More." he replied, none the less. The clear alcohol dripping down his chin as he emptied the bottle's contents.

"Does Ruri know you're out this late? It's your day off."

"Just start from the beginning."

He pondered over the day's events.

They had browsed through stalls in Tokyo. " We spent the day together."

He remembered dislocating a photo booth from its place in the mall. "We went shopping."

Izaya laughed and pointed out his wrong doings in the news, sipping coffee as he did do. "We had coffee."

The both pointedly ignoring the gigantic poster of Kasuka as they debated what movies to watch. "We watched a movie."

Izaya making fun of him for listening to Enka music, and then laughing harder when he threw the record CD's at him and dodged, resulting in the both of them being kicked out due to the injury of the shop owner. "We bought music."

"I thought it was a great day." Maybe not, but all in all it was.

"And then what happened?" Shinra murmured.

Russian Sushi was at the right amount of business as it constantly was, Simon waved to the locals, which scared them more often than not as he brightly informed them that the sushi they made was definitely not made out humans. But probably because he was nearly seven feet up in the air, black, and put emphasis on words in the middle of a sentence, mispronouncing them in the oddest ways.

" Surprise him, give him anything as long as it has ootoro." he gave Izaya a meaningful look. "I'll have a milk and some onigiri."

As soon as the waitress had left them, the informant had fixed him an unreadable look. "I think we should stop seeing each other."

Shizuo was broken out of his reverie when nearly all of his friends shared the same question.

"Just like that?" Kadota dropped his unlit cigarette.

"just like that?" Shinra stared.

Even Celty, thrust the same response to his face, typed neatly on her PDA.

"Did he say why?" Kasuka asked amongst all the nonsense, leaning his head on his perched arms thoughtfully.

All of the sudden, he was back in Russian Sushi.

"This...thing. Whatever it is...it's not normal. You and me. Do you think this is normal?"

He blushed and fumbled with his hands. he slid his cobalt sunglasses over the bridge of his nose so the informant couldn't see his eyes.

"Well of course we're not _normal. _But I'm happy...Are you happy?"

"You're happy?"

"You're not?"

"All we do is argue!"

"Well we've had our disagreements in the past, but-"

"Maybe he wasn't in a good mood." Kasuka interrupted.

"Maybe he was PMSing?"

Shinra regarded Kadota incredulously. "He's a _guy_. And what would you know about that anyways?"

Kadota sputtered, obviously embarrassed beyond words. Celty, a voice of reason (although she had no voice at all,) urged him on. 'Then what?'

'This can't really surprise you. I mean, we've been like Sid and Nancy for months."

Shizuo merely gave the informant the most confused look he could muster. "What does that even mean?"

Izaya stared at me, red eyes blazing with an emotion that was clear as day. "You're Sid. And I fear that I'm Nancy. See, he stabbed her with a kitchen knife seven times. Repeatedly. Oh, and that you're a tad delusional."

Simon's boss had laid out their food in front of them and Izaya joyfully clapped his hands together in clear delight. "We'll talk about this later! It's lunch time after all." Izaya had dug into his bentou like the conversation had never happened, the debt collector was not so lucky.

He watched him eat like it was the worst travesty in the history of mankind. The debt collector took one glance at his meager meal, and started to walk away.

"Shizu-chan!-"

This was the part where Izaya would tell him they were just friends.'

"-Come back here! I don't have my wallet today!"

The anger he had been holding back for the better half of the day released itself, and it wasn't very pretty.

"ShiZUoh! Eat sushi! Sushi good!"

Simon's form of consolation wasn't working well either.


	3. Chapter 2

**500 days of Izaya**

Chapter One

_Day 240_

"There's plenty of fish in the sea." Kadota offered, going back to lighting his cigarette.

"No." the debt collector cradled his head in his hands, refusing to look up at their concerned faces.

"That's what they all say-"

"**WELL THEY'RE WRONG**! I've fished in that sea! I've jumped in and swam in that sea! I'm fucking Aquaman!" The blond erupted, looking the very image of livid. Kadota had not so subtlety backed away. Kasuka stayed planted in place, staring at his brother in that deadpan way of his. Shizuo lowered his arms, taking in shuttering breaths.y

"I mean...he was my fish. There is no other fish."

Shinra and Celty shared a very concerned look.

_Day 86_

Shinra waited for his friend to talk. This was the first time the debt collector had called him out to talk, and they weren't at the usual meeting place of Russia Sushi, but a coffee shop a block away. Shizuo stared at his bottle of milk with conflicted eyes, letting Shinra sip his coffee quietly.

"So what did you-"

"I'm in love with Izaya."

To say Shinra looked dumbfounded would be an understatement.

"I love his eyes. The auburn, almost ruby they turn when he's under light. Fluorescent, sun, it doesn't matter, he doesn't need contacts. I love how they crinkle the slightest bit when he laughs."

"I love the feel of his hair in my hands, the way he pretends he doesn't like the contact. I like it's color, it's simplicity."

"I love his knees."

"I love the dip in his neck."

"I like the scars between his shoulder blades."

"I love the curve of his foot."

"I love them all."

'I love Izaya.'

Shinra watched the blond, at a loss for words as he leaves, a bright grin painted on his face for the first time in years.

"Oh shit."

_Day 1_

"Shizuo! Don't kill him-he's our new accountant!"

'We're a debt collecting agency! It doesn't make sense to hire an accountant!" Tom had smacked his forehead in exasperation. "The debt collectors are the ones that collect debt! We don't perform administrative duties! That's what he's here for."

The 'accountant' as Tom had pointed out, who had been hiding behind Kadota this whole time, peeked above his shoulder warily.

"You've seen our bulletin board Shizuo, you wouldn't be able to find a needle in a haystack! he's working here part-time, don't have a hernia." Tom paused after a moment in consideration, and looked to the fuming blond with a puzzling expression. "Why do you care so much anyways? Do you two know wach other?"

Shizuo dropped the desk, letting the wood crack into splinters.

"No," the 'accountant' stared at Shizuo with incredulous ruby eyes, and retreated back to his position behind Kadota

The mad had a debonair of a _rat. _

'Well in that case, how about we introduce ourselves?" Tom's half-hearted laugh had been met with silence, a vague indication from Kadota to begin.

"I am Tanaka Tom, and I be your employer. The man you are behind is Kadota Kyohei, who is in charge of the security ward for the bureau, and as I have mentioned before, this is Shizuo."

The last part of the sentence had caught Shizuo's attention and he visibly perked up. "You mentioned me?"

Tom made a show of ignoring Shizuo completely. "As you can see, this is where we usually keep our client's records..."

The debt collector decided to catch a nicotine fix.


	4. Chapter 3

**500 days of Izaya**

Chapter Two

_Day 7_

When Shizuo walked into the debt collecting agency that day, he noticed a few things.

Especially when he walked into his and Tom's office.

The bulletin board only sported a calendar and 10 separate broken line graphs, each listed with a name, number, and phone addresses. When he looked to his and Tom's desk, nothing was different except for a single plastic blue portfolio. He picked up the flimsy folder, visibly puzzled.

'What's this?"

The accountant typed at a lightening quick pace, eyes never leaving the screen. Wait-was he wearing glasses? He had been so sure that the accountant had been wearing contacts. The accountant answered without taking his eyes off the screen.

"It's your work."

"Wha-I had _more _work?-"

The accountant interrupted him. "It's your work. Completed. I organized it from the board and threw away the ones you were done with."The debt collector paused, processing the words.

"You didn't have to do that." he said indignantly. The accountant turned away from the computer, smirking at him.

"Oh, I know."

For just a second, Shizuo had forgotten why exactly he hated the accountant.

_Day 9_

Shizuo rarely used the elevator, but today was just one of those days. He turned the volume up on his mp3, silently singing along.

The elevator dinged and the accountant stepped in, fur-lined hood pulled up around his face, melting snow flakes present on the dark fur, his eyelashes. The blond found himself blushing for staring. From the corner of his eyes he saw the auburn eyes watch him. The accountant mouthed something.

"Hm?" he pulled down the headphones, staring at the man imploringly.

"I said I love 'Always.' " the accountant smirked, shifting from foot to foot to hide his nervousness. The blond stared at him incomprehensibly.

"By Erasure?"

" 'Always, I want to be with you, and make believe with you, and live in-"

"harmony, harmony-oh love."

The two shared a smile, before the floor dinged again, the accountant waving him off.

Without thinking, the smile dropped off his face. "Oh shit."


	5. Chapter 4

**500 days of Izaya**

Chapter Three

_Day 9_

" So...Izaya huh?" Shizuo's mumble was barely telligible over the roar in the office as Tom jumped back and laughed boisteriously in surprise as the champagne bottle he uncrorked sprayed him in the chest. The other workers in tackled the man with boisterous shouts of their own. The debt collector clenched his fists and grit his teeth at the interruption, not wanting to lose his cool before even properly introducing himself.

Fortunately, Izaya heard. Based on the incredulous look he recieved in response, he couldn't congratulate himself on a job well done.

"Erasure fan."

"Um, Yeah. I'm Shizuo." he offered his hand awkwardly. Izaya took it with a firm grip, but his eyes were dark and vigilant.

"Nice to meet you."

'So...how's it going?" His voice was soft and quiet and he nearly cringed. Shizuo inwardly cursed his inexperience as Izaya had taken to leaning back on his desk boredly.

"Hm? What was that?" he looked up as if he hadn't heard the blond, so he opted for another ice breaker.

" Are you new to Ikebukuro?"

This topic seemed to delight Izaya with the way his eyes lit up like bright red fireworks. "I used to live there when I was growing up, but I just moved out from Shibuya after high school." he toyed with a stray sheet of paper, a smile on his face. "I guess I just couldn't stay away!"

He shared a smile of his own at the accountant's excitement. "Oh? What else brought you?"

"Boredom mostly. Got tired of what I was doing, who I was seeing. I think I just needed a change of space, you know?" He looked up as if just remembering a minor detail. "Oh, and working as an informant in Shibuya was bad news, I guess."

As soon as the word 'informant' left the accountant lips, he dropped his smile, eyes widening into saucers. "Um, Izaya...you know that most informants keep contact with the yakuza, right?"

Izaya gave him the trademark 'are-you-an-idiot?' glance that didn't rile him up like usual. "I think I know how to do my own job." he even looked a tad offended.

He found himself stuttering. "B-but isn't that illegal?"

He smiled furitively, and the blond gulped, the expression making him feel strange. "Work pays the bills, and I love my job." the lack of past tense on the 'love' part irked Shizuo.

"Wait-you're working both jobs?"

Izaya's fox-like grin grew wider and he distinctly wondered if the accountant was just having fun at his expense. "But enough about me! How long have you worked here?"

The abrupt topic change is not lost on Shizuo but he scratches teh abck of hsi head abashedly. "Err, not long. Just a couple years. I couldn't hold onto jobs before because of the, um, you know..." _'You know the dayw hen I tried to throw at a desk at you?'_

Izaya nods in understanding, that peculiar smile still quirked on his lips. "Really? Where did you last work?"

"Hmm, I was a bartender. Happy hour is rough in Ikebukuro when I think back on it..."

"No kidding! So, were you the one that selected today's tasteful menu?" he gestured to the happily drunk men, sprayiong each other with champagne bottles much like kids with waterguns. "They sure look like they're havign a good time!"

The blond snorted, iktchign fro a cigarette to calm his nerves. "God no, I was terrible at my job. The scent of ethanol made me lose it and a lot of drunk thugs like pickign fights with the 'infamous fortissimo of Ikenukuro' or shit liek that."

"Than why are you still wearing the uniform?"

He stiffens at the question and recovers very obviously as he scratches at his pockets uncomfortably. "Well...my brother was sort of ashamed of me for not having a stable job. Before this one I worked there the longest. So he kinda bought me a lifetrime supply of uniforms..."

Izaya, unexpectedly, giggled. The notion should have annoyed him, but the man's cackles were sort of delightful to listen to. "S-sorry, I just cracked up at the lifetime part. How many pairs do you got?"

"Don't laugh."

"Promise!"

"Seriously?"

"I am a man of my word!"

"Ummm...56?"

The blond supresses the urge to throttle Izaya, flushing redly in embrassment. He rubbed his face, feeling dumb for trusting an informant. He didn't think it possible that people in this day and age still took to laughing fits. Rolling around on the ground. "It's not that funny anyway!" he snapped childishly, fishign for his cobalt sunglasses.

Izaya stared up, holdign his breath, grinning from ear to ear and mirth shining brightlly in ruby irises. "I know it's just..." Izaya let himself laugh harder. "Y-you know when sometimes something's not even funny, but when someone starts laughing you can't stop it either?"

"Um, nobody laughed before you..." despite this, the blond curses his traitorous moputh that he knows is probably showing the informant his shit eating grin.

"Oh Shizu-chan! Don't you know? Laughter is infectious!"

And true to his word, they both laughed like children on a merry-go-round.


End file.
